Tech and tweens go hand in hand, especially in a digital world. However, pre-teens aren't automatically able to understand how to form healthy technology behaviors. In fact, they can easily get overloaded and confused by not enough time away from screens and devices.
As a parent, you're in a terrific position to ensure your tween develops good habits when it comes to technology. Try the following tips to help your youngster understand the best, safest ways to make tech work for them.
1. Start them off simply.
Kids can't be expected to figure out how to navigate too much new tech at once. Therefore, look for ways to start your tweens off by choosing "lighter" technology. For instance, buy them a kids phone that lacks Internet access or an app store. That way, your son or daughter won't be tempted by too many options. Plus, you won't have to worry about cyberbullying or exposure to adult content.
2. Use tech in moderation yourself.
Did you know that 28% of adults admit to being on their phones almost all the time? If you fall on or near that category, you may want to revisit your relationship with technology. After all, when parents can't tear themselves from a tablet or iPhone, their kids won't see the need, either.
3. Set limits on when and where to use tech.
Your household might have an "anything goes" policy when it comes to cell phone or TV use. In other words, people can log on and check in any time they want. However, zero parameters can lead to tweens wasting hours of each day. To combat this problem, define parameters as soon as your child gets a device. Some ideas could include only allowing the device in certain rooms or at specific times of day.
4. Talk about the difference between productive and destructive tech use.
We all know that technology can increase a student's productivity tremendously. Unfortunately, the same technology can cause a child to stay up too late or neglect schoolwork. As soon as possible, discuss the different ways to use technology with your preteen. You don't have to be heavy-handed. Just have a conversation about how tech can be a positive and negative. Open dialogue encourages kids to see technology from a new perspective.
5. Share your tech mistakes.
Sometimes, we want tweens to learn from their own mistakes. But often, we'd rather have them avoid preventable missteps altogether. That's why it's okay for you to be honest about your own snags with technology. For instance, you might want to explain about a text you sent in anger that you wish you hadn't. Or you could talk about an email that you ignored that led to issues on the job. Tweens may pretend not to care. However, they'll remember your tales of woe-and probably try to avoid repeating them.
6. Micromanage if necessary.
Your preteen gets a first laptop. You're thrilled because it means yours won't constantly be in use. Nevertheless, you realize over time that your child isn't using the laptop in a smart way. Grades start to plummet. Your kid's mood changes. And you're feeling overwhelmed. At that point, it's okay to get involved right away. Try not to get terribly angry, but be ready to set some strict boundaries. Micromanaging your tween's tech usage for a while may be the right decision. Though it might seem heavy-handed at first, it can be a gift to your preteen in the long run.
7. Keep devices out of bedrooms.
Screen time may be fun, but it can also be addicting. Plus, using electronics before bedtime can disrupt sleep patterns and lead to insomnia in kids and adults. Rather than begging your kid to get off the phone or tablet at a decent hour, take away the temptation. You have the power to tell your children that they can't have devices in their bedrooms. Put all chargers in a common area, like the kitchen, dining room, or living room. Set up a rule that all devices should be on their chargers before bedtime. Your tween might grumble, but at least he or she will get enough rest!
8. Insist on non-tech family time.
As silly as it sounds, one of the best ways to forget healthier tech relationships is to get away from tech. Spend time as a family away from technology on a regular basis. Take neighborhood walks on pleasant evenings, or head to a nearby park for fun. Ride bikes around your community on the weekends. Dust off those old board games and rediscover how much fun Monopoly, chess, checkers, and Scrabble can be. The technology will wait for you.
9. Stay on top of new technology, including social media platforms and apps.
Even if you're a decidedly un-techy parent, make an effort to learn about emerging technologies. These could include an up-and-coming social site like TikTok or a virtual reality multiplayer app that everyone's downloading. The more you know about what's going on with the younger generation and tech, the better you'll feel. Plus, you won't be surprised if your tween starts talking about a specific platform or game.
10. Encourage your tween to hang out with friends-in person.
Tweens may feel like they're a little old for traditional "playdates," but that doesn't mean they shouldn't get together. Urge your child to have friends over periodically to do non-tech activities. Your preteen may balk at this idea, since so many kids connect online instead of in person. Nevertheless, persist. Hanging out face-to-face gives young people a chance to forge friendships without the need for any (or much) technology. While you're at it, invite your own friends to the house for some laid-back, old-fashioned conversation now and then, too.
Your tween shouldn't have to figure out how to balance technology and mental health alone. Help him or her navigate the world of phones, tablets, laptops, personal assistants, and televisions. Just a little upfront planning today can make a world of difference for your child's wellbeing later in life.
