As a parent, you may not always approve of your children's friends. They may be drama queens or not as honest as you would prefer your kids' buddies to be. What do you do, as a parent?
As reported by WebMD, one mother of 11-year-old twins in California didn't mince words after her son came home crying each time he played with a certain boy, yet still begged for sleepovers with his tormentor. "I told my son this kid can be hurtful, that he's not a safe guy," she says. "If they play together at school, fine. But I avoid play dates. I won't invite him here."
Frank Frankel, PhD, author of Friends Forever: How Parents Can Help Their Kids Make and Keep Good Friends, understands parents' desires to intervene when a friendship seems toxic, he suggests staying on the sidelines -- at least from your child's point of view.
You want to give guidance, but "it can be treacherous telling a kid what to do," Frankel says. Parents of tweens risk their child's doubling down on the friendship if it's forbidden. Also, once a "bad" kid is considered off-limits, there may be a big friendship void to fill.
That's why Frankel suggests daily conversations with your child., reports WebMD.
"Talk with your kids at the dinner table, asking them questions like who they ate lunch with," Frankel advises. "If your child gravitates toward a kid with behavioral issues, I wouldn't criticize that child. Don't forbid the friendship. Instead, suggest play dates with kids you like, set up activities with children whose parents you trust, and encourage your child to join clubs where they'll be exposed to new friendships. Once they start experiencing healthier friendships -- which you'll help facilitate -- they'll likely reject the less healthy ones on their own."
